sex — have sex

Synopsis

sex [options] ... [username] ...

Description

sex allows the invoker to have sex with the user(s) specified in the command line. If no users are specified, they are taken from the LOVERS environment variable. Options to make things more interesting are as follows:
-1
masturbate
-a
external stimulus (aphrodisiac) option
-b
buggery
-B animal
bestiality with animal
-c
chocolate sauce option
-C
chaining option (cuffs included) (see also -m -s -W)
-d file
get a date with the features described in file
-e
exhibitionism (image sent to all machines on the net)
-f
foreplay option
-F
nasal sex with plants
-i
coitus interruptus (messy!)
-j
jacuzzi option (California sites only)
-l
leather option
-m
masochism (see -s)
-M
triple parallel (Menage a Trois) option
-n
necrophilia (if target process is not dead, program kills it)
-o
oral option
-O
parallel access (orgy)
-p
debug option (proposition only)
-P
pedophilia (must specify a child process)
-q
quickie (wham, bam, thank you, ma'am)
-s
sadism (target must set -m)
-S
sundae option
-v
voyeurism (surveys the entire net)
-w
whipped cream option
-W
whips (see also -s, -C, and -m)

Environment

LOVERS
is a list of default partners which will be used if none are specified in the command line. If any are specified, the values in LOVERS is ignored.

Files

/usr/share/sex/animals
animals for bestiality
/usr/share/sex/blackbook
possible dates
/usr/share/sex/sundaes
sundae recipes
/usr/share/sex/s&m
sado-masochistic equipment

Bugs

^C
(quit process) may leave the user very unsatisfied.
^Z
(stop process) is usually quite messy.

History

Oldest program ever.